Paul says, “God didn’t set us up for an angry rejection, but for salvation through our master, Jesus Christ. He died for us, a death that triggered life.” [1 Thessalonians 5: 9-10, MSG]. The devotion says to suspend any disbelief we have for a few moments, and imagine that we truly believe God is trustworthy. How might you live your life differently?
I do so believe that He is trustworthy. I was talking to Him about that, about the fact that who I don’t trust is myself to get it right. To go down the path that He wants me to follow.
Suddenly, it struck me that perhaps I try too hard. Perhaps I try to live up to God’s expectations of me. But is it His expectations of me, or my expectations of myself? Is it my idea of what God expects of me?
Now it suddenly feels to me that He is only “expecting” me to love Him, and to love others as I love myself. And maybe He doesn’t “expect” even that. He hopes that I will. He has faith that I will. And He loves me just the same, whether I do love Him back or not.
And if I love Him, He “expects” that I will love Him only to the best of my poor abilities. And love others--again, only to the best of my poor abilities. He doesn’t expect me to do with what I don’t have.
And He doesn’t “expect” me to follow any path. He wants me to just go where I think best. He trusts me to make the best choices I can for myself. And if I make a mistake, so what? When a child makes a mistake, what does a loving parent do? Call the child names? Yell; beat up the child emotionally for making a mistake? No. A loving parent shows the child by example the best way to do things (to the best of his or her ability). A loving parent gently guides the child away from dangerous mistakes, but lets the child make mistakes that she can learn and grow from. A wise parent gives a child appropriate choices.
When we’re angry with someone, Boundaries says we need to examine our anger, and go to that person to tell him or her, not that we’re angry, but what we really need from him or her that our anger is signaling that we’re not getting. When we think that someone is expecting too much of us, we should go to that person and lay it all out on the table, and clarify and make sure that the person is actually expecting what we think he or she is expecting. If we consider that a fair thing to do with people, the right thing to do with our close relationships, why don’t we do that with God?
Karen Kingsbury, in one of her Leaving series books, talked about what if all of us thought that the person next to us as having our best interests at heart? How would that change the relationship with them? Would it enable us to be more open, more caring for that person as well? Let’s suspend our disbelief for a few minutes and think about our relationship with God and with others that way. How would you live your life differently?
I know I’d do a few things differently. I’d be more open. I’d feel as if I really belonged. I’d feel as if I could show my feelings honestly and talk about them.
So maybe I’ll try to do that, just for today. And if I make a mistake, I will not be abusive toward myself, calling myself hurtful names or implying that I’m not doing my best. After all, I’m just a child—a child of the light.
Thank You, God, for not expecting more of me than I currently have to give.
©L.F. Haynie, July 17, 2015