Wondering how my life feels right now,
Feeling kind of down,
Kind of alone,
Kind of sorrowful,
Not much going on--
And too much change,
All at the same time
Kind of tired of everything.
Not much going on.
It’s not the big things that wear me down,
It’s the little ones surrounding me all the time,
Sipping, sapping the blood of my strength
And resolve.
Can’t see tomorrow in front of my face,
Worrying about the tomorrow I cannot see,
Like a swarm of gnats
That constantly surround me,
Surround my face.
The tiny midges of fear
And not knowing
And fear
And not feeling
That I’ve got it covered--
The tiny midges of
Not-in-control
Flying in my face,
Attacking my eyes, my nose, my mouth--
Inseparable.
Worrying the past like a dog with a bone,
Unable to let it go--
Even though
Unlike the bone,
Gnawing the past gives me no pleasure.
Then why do it, you ask?
I bring myself to task,
Seeing each mote in my eye
With a magnifying glass.
Inseparable.
The tiny midges of "can't change it now"
But I can, in my mind, as I go over each and every word,
Editing the events in my mind,
Could I make it turn out better?
Of course not,
But I can sure try.
But then,
Just as I can bear it no longer,
“I will lift up my eyes unto the hills,
From whence cometh my help”*
The Lord is with me.
He calms my fears
As a mother tenderly hushes
Her fearful child.
Inseparable.
*Psalm 121:1-2--I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help.
My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. [KJV]
Romans 9:31, 38--If God is for us, who can be against us? ... For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."