©L.F. Haynie, 12/10/2015
When I fear,
I do not say
Kind, gracious, loving words.
My words contain
That twist of fear--
That bit of blame,
That heaping helping of shame
I dish out to others
To avoid eating so much of it myself.
“Say only what helps, each word a gift.”*
Instead, I grieve God by hurting others,
By not loving as I am loved,
By not forgiving as I am forgiven.
To love and be loved is a life
Of truth and love combined,
To acknowledge reality,
Without blame or shame,
Or expectations
Higher than someone can attain.
Instead, I use my words to hurt, not heal,
To lay the flagstones of guilt and grief,
To avoid walking that path myself,
To stay out of the sticky mud
Of blame and shame--
But covering it over never works, somehow,
Like building a floor over a stinky garbage pit
Without using Febreze®.
To say to some what I think they want,
Instead of what I know they need,
In order to pretend
that I am beloved,
that I belong--
not just fit in--
Is to walk in fear.
To brave the elements
Of truth and grace…
But when I’m afraid,
I cannot see reality,
I cannot speak reality,
Untempered with shame and blame--
Fear engenders
Shame and blame in me,
And of course I pass it on.
Each word a gift?
I think not.
Rather, each word a millstone
Tied around my heart
In tandem with the hearts
of those I speak to.
“Don’t grieve God.
Don’t break His heart…
Don’t take such a gift for granted.”*
“Make every word a gift.”
*Ephesians 4:29-30 [MSG[1] ] Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.
Don’t grieve God. Don’t break his heart. His Holy Spirit, moving and breathing in you, is the most intimate part of your life, making you fit for himself. Don’t take such a gift for granted.
[1] The Message, © 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002 by Eugene H. Peterson