Sometimes abuse is obvious. A blow, twisting arms or wrists, a black eye. Sometimes less obvious, hearing hurtful, derogatory things over and over again until you believe them. Using anger to make you comply. Sometimes it might take the shape of control, trying to limit your friendships or your outside activities. Or manipulation, saying things that then make you afraid to try to do anything different. Insisting that you think, feel, act, speak, or believe differently than you do. Making you disbelieve in your own abilities.
Does that sound like love? Is it a relationship you'd like to see your daughter in? I have news for you. If you yourself are living in such a relationship, you're being a role model for your daughter--one you'd rather she didn't follow.
1 Corinthians 13 is a model for love that everyone would do well to follow. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Ephesians 5:25-30 states that a man must love and cherish his wife, as Christ loves the church.
Of course, people are not perfect, so there will always be problems and arguments in marriage. But when love is twisted into fear, there is a way out. It takes a little strength. Trust in God and ask Him to show you the way out. To give you strength to hold onto your convictions. To not be afraid to make yourself and your children safe.
If your relationship or someone else's is or might be abusive, here is a good place for information: http://www.thehotline.org/. It is worthwhile noting that men, too, can be put in a position of being abused.