That heavy pain of dealing with it.
I'm going to have to talk
To someone I don't want to talk to
About something I hate talking about.
Fraying further the emotional cord
Thick once as a line on a ship
From heart to heart,
Now worn to a single light thread
Ready to snap at a heartbeat.
That feeling in my throat
Of a big lump
That won't go away
That won't swallow down.
The fear travels from gut to throat
And throat to gut.
I can barely breathe.
Walking on eggshells again.
I swore I'd never do it again.
Trying hard not to break them
But you can't make an omelet without breaking the eggs.
I feel so helpless.
I feel so hopeless.
I can't do this.
Oh, Lord, please be with me.
Catch me when I fall.
Help me to see what is true
And the most loving way to handle it.
Help me to be reasonable.
Help me to be caring, but to hold my ground.
Help me to be honest about what I feel.
Help me to accept responsibility
Where it is mine...
And only where it is mine.
Help me to stand firm in what I know
And stand firm in what I need
And stand firm in what I want
Help me to make the right choices for me.
Help me to care enough about myself for once
To make that choice and stick with it.
Dear God, help me to breathe.
Help me to love others as You love them.
Help me to love myself as You love me.
To be the real me that You know I am inside.