I had just announced that I was going to seek a divorce from my husband, for what I had considered to be good reasons, after nearly 35 years of relationship and marriage.
I respect my friend's opinion. Moreover, I do not "believe in" divorce, myself. It had taken several years of unhappiness and two years of separation and much prayer, soul-searching, professional counseling, and seeking of advice from wise friends to get to this point.
Feeling shamed by her declaration, I took that shame as a reason to continue trying. I didn't have a chance to talk with my friend privately for several months. When we did talk, I learned the thoughts behind her statement. She was not against divorce for good reason, but rather the easy divorce that is so often sought today when marriage proves difficult--as I am, myself.
This made me think. How often do I make sound bytes out of my deepest beliefs, spouting them to people who may not be ready to hear those words? How many times do people hear what I say as criticism, rather than the love that God gives me in trust, to spread to others?
I don't believe in abortion. I don't believe in homosexuality. I don't believe in stealing, adultery, coveting, lying, and so forth. But the people who do these things out of desperation or fear, being pressured or at the end of their rope and not knowing where to turn--I do not think I can condemn those people. The faces behind the behaviors. The stories I hear and have compassion for.
What God has called upon me to do is love. Not judge or "fix. So from now on, before I say those words, "I don't believe in ...", I'm going to try to stop and think, and pray that God will put the right words on my lips to spread His love. Maybe, "I believe that God loves you, wherever you are, whatever you have done," are a better choice of words for someone who is hurting.
"I believe" is a call to love. "I don't believe" is not. And God calls me to love.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." (Matthew 7:1-2, NIV)
“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 25:36-40, NIV)