I am Lisa–
My heart is tender.
My fears rise quickly.
I am Lisa–
My passion for new knowledge
Surges like a tidal wave
And I am tossed in a sea of churning water
Exhilarating and frothy
Floating when tired
Only to be discouraged by the depths.
I am Lisa–
Quick to see the good in others,
The bad in myself;
To give others the benefit of the doubt
But blame myself
For not knowing what to do
Or for being afraid to know what to do.
I am Lisa–
Shy in crowds and
Unable to speak up
Unable to look up
And see myself as equal.
I am Lisa–
I feel with words
I see words as my voice
I hear words on a page
The pages are singing to me.
I am Lisa–
Dark thoughtful mossy green in the shade
Bright turquoise in the sunlight
Quiet sage
And bossy blue
Occasional dark red
To suit my mood.
I am Lisa–
Others call me wise…
If they only knew
the faulty decisions I make
Each and every day.
I am Lisa–
Others call me sweet
If they could only read my heart.
I am Lisa–
Others call me quiet
But they cannot hear
The voices in my head –
The many one-sided conversations
All the clutter that goes on
In my head.
I am Lisa–
And with all of this, I can say
I am a child of God,
A beloved daughter,
And therefore,
I will not be afraid.
I will be wise
And learn from my mistakes.
I will love myself
As I love others.
I will give myself the same grace
That I extend to others.
I will remind myself that I am a child of God
And equal to any around me.
Even when I don’t have the talent of speech,
I have the talent of words
To use like a mighty sword
Or a quiet whisper
In the hands of the Lord.
I will quiet the acrimonious voices in my head
With the help of God and His great love
Replace them with
Voices of encouragement and love
Tenderness and acceptance–
And throughout it all,
I remain the essence,
the very best of Lisa
distilled to the sweet strong center
Of who I truly am.
I am Lisa.
The Lisa God wants me to be–
The Lisa He loves unceasingly–
I am Lisa.
(C) L.F. Haynie, May 25, 2015