©LF Haynie, December 10, 2017
Dear God,
Sometimes
You seem so very far away.
So above it all.
How in the world
Can You see me from up there?
How can You hear me pray?
I cannot think how it is possible
That You even know who I am.
Much less care.
And yet, and yet…
So many things I read,
And think,
And hear…
Make me think…
That yet, still, even though
You have so much to care about,
So many things more urgent
Than my small woes
Even when,
Even when I don’t listen,
Don’t talk to You,
Like sulky teenagers
Turning their backs on their parents,
Refusing to listen to common sense,
Refusing outright to obey,
Or sneaking behind their backs
To disobey
Even when I am tired and fearful,
Even when I am selfish and begrudging
Of my time, my energy, my talents--
My riches, my hope, my abundance--
Even when I am grouchy and in pain,
Even when I am angry, Lord,
Even when I lose sight of You,
Even when I forget You,
Even when I outright
Lose my belief in You--
Even then, Lord,
You love me
And care for me,
As tenderly as a mother
Cares for her newborn.
So many, many things
Show that You do.
I cry, I groan, I cannot speak,
Yet You hear my very heart.
The words that will not form on my lips,
You hear in Your heart
As clearly as if
I enunciated every word,
In elegant elocution
And you take them into Your heart
And do what’s best for me--
And let me make my choices,
So that I can grow,
So that I can grow toward You.
O, Lord,
Help me overcome
My unbelief!*
Remind me
That I am Yours.
"But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us.” 23 And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out[a] and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” -- *Mark 9:22-24 [ESV]